is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize