That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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