just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
