Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
