when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize