at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
