I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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