wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
