I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
