Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
