Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
