I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
