I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
