Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
