i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
