Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
