my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize