if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
