Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
