the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
