is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize