Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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