I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We were destined to go to rehab together
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
