I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
