At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
third nipple confirmed
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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