It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There's always time for handjobs
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
