I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
