Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize