sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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