We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
