Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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