Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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