FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
