So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
