why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
