your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
