hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
