nut hugger
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
