We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
