my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My feet surprised me
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