Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
