I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
