I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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