He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
