I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
