When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
