i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
