You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
