Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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