he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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