I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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