Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
