There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
