woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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