By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I have tasted many bathrooms
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
