i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
