Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
