Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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