I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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