I smell stomach acid.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
