a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
