In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
do herpes really smell.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
