Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
