i think my mom watched the whole time
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
