I am midnight drunk by noon
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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