we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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