i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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